Sweet, Sweet Liberation!
Well howdy dewdy ya’ll. I have neglected this blog lately and now I will attempt to remedy that by posting more. You might call that a News Year Resolution, but I am not going to do that because New Years resolutions are only damaging ego destroyers. And, let’s face it, I am far too lazy to regularly update the blog. But now I have a story, and stories are worth telling, so here it goes.
When I first moved out to Kansas, things were great, sort-of. We had been living here for about a month and then the people below moved in. These people were either a new couple or a couple that had never shared the same domicile. And, as we all know, what do newly cohabitating couples do a lot? Watch TV? Play board games? Sexy time? If you guessed the last one, then you are correct! However, if you answered either of the first two, you made an understandable but still inexcusable mistake. Now, on a side note, the apartments that we live in are not grandiose, and by not grandiose I mean that the walls are paper thin, every step taken in the apartment produces loud creaking noises, and they are super small.
When combined (the crappy, tiny apartment along with horny neighbors), disastrous consequences ensue. By disastrous consequences I mean a very angry and annoyed Alisha. The couple below us were frequent fornicators. It wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that the girl was most vocal during copulation. It should be noted that I work graveyards, which means that I am not at home during the peak sexy time hours. I miss all the loud screaming that comes from downstairs. Leesh deals with all of the loud screaming, mainly while trying to sleep. This went on for several months.
Another annoying part about our neighbors is that they have two dogs. In a small, tiny, freakishly little apartment they have two dogs! One of the dogs was a puppy that the couple got in November. They named this new puppy Daisy. Yupp, they named their puppy after a flower. Ridiculous. For example, the puppy did some sort of bad thing that puppies do, and they proceeded to yell at the unlucky pup. They sounded like the neighbors were beating and yelling at an innocent flower. The monsters!
Now, in early to middle December, a tragedy occurred, the couple below us broke up! Happy Days! I am not normally one to revel in another person’s grief, but Hallelujah! No more loud sex noises, no more loud tv (oh yah, I forgot to mention that they would watch tv really loud), and no more Zack stepping in dog shit on his way in from the car (the stupid-asshole-mother-fuckers wouldn’t clean up after their animals). We never found out why they split, mainly because in the entire time they lived below us we never said one word to them. The dude moved out and took all of his stuff. Well, for a brief and short time there was no noise. Then the screaming, loud, wailing, irrational crying started to happen. Lucky for me, I went to work, and let Alisha to deal with it. ;)
And that brings us to now. We just back from a nice and relaxing vacation and we find out that she left. Someone new is now moving in. Wha HA HA! Sweet victory! She obviously couldn't deal with being alone, whether financially or emotionally, and she is gone! Now all we have to hope for is that someone worse won’t move in!
